Confessions of a Fast-Food Worker by George D. Wight

This book is a straightforward, entertaining collection of stories that thoroughly explain why you should never, under any circumstances, piss off people that are underpaid and handle your food where you can’t see it. There are occasional issues with grammar and spelling, but this book, which smacks of non-fiction, had me laughing more than most things I’ve read in a long time.

The one criticism I have is that it is a collection of personal anecdotes rather than a novel, but the author wisely kept the book short, more around the length of a novella, which made for a quick afternoon read. That said, it’s not the sort of material that makes for a long series of books, but for a few hours now and then it does the job quite well.

If you’ve ever worked a crappy night job (in this case at McDonald’s), especially one that involved customer service, you’ll immediately have a great deal of sympathy for the writer as he walks you through the most bizarre and infuriating experiences he had during his time chucking burgers at ungrateful pri..ahem, individuals, as well as how his coworkers and he got even with them, as well as with their employer.

There’s a lot of spit involved. And some larceny, a bit of fraud, and that greasy muck just under the stove where your mop never manages to reach. But mostly spit.

That said, it’s impossible not to root for him as he navigates his way through the mess that is minimum wage-slavery, and if you’ve been there, the wide variety of things he does to either get back at customers who are terrible human beings or outfox a company that routinely treats its employees as disposable waste that’s only of momentary use will give you a great deal of pleasure.

In many ways, it’s a collection of cathartic moments that you wished you had do, or wish you could bring yourself to do, even though a few of them certainly go over the line. Reading this book is a good way to mellow out after dealing with a frustrating day.

All of that said, to people with no experience in the realm of minimum wage employment, odds are you’ll find a great many stories in this book absolutely horrifying. I consider myself to have a hearty constitution, but there were particularly vignettes that, although I was laughing, left me wincing afterward. Followed by a bit of snickering.

There’s not much more to say about this book. It’s cheap, entertaining, and it does the job it sets out to do: tell hysterical tales of a fast food workers foul vengeance upon those who wronged him. I’d suggest eating a hamburger before you read this book, since it might be a few days before you can stomach one afterward, but it’s a sacrifice worth making. I give it a 4/5.

You can nab a copy off of Amazon here.

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